View from the Porch

Tab Clearing…

by Tam May 8, 2012 View from the Porch

Stupid should hurt.Big discussion on chamber-empty carry over at Robb’s. I would like to point out that they are called “handguns”, and not “handsguns”, for a reason.That ’70s Show. Just as the presence of iridium in geological substrates indicates the “K-T boundary”, or the delineating point between Cretaceous and Tertiary layers, so one day will [...]

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QotD: Primary Colors Are Black & Blue Edition

by Tam May 8, 2012 View from the Porch

Roberta X on Election ’12:Boy, wouldn’t it be great if once — just once! — somebody made it through the primaries about whom you could say something more positive than “Well, he’s better than a severe beating.”

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Problem with the paradigm.

by Tam May 8, 2012 View from the Porch

So another terror plot was allegedly uncovered, despite the War on Terror being more or less kinda sorta over. The president offered the vague reassurances that apparently come with the job description:U.S. President Barack Obama was told about the plot in April, and the attempt “underscores the necessity of remaining vigilant against terrorism here and [...]

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Random thought…

by Tam May 7, 2012 View from the Porch

Measuring interweb advertising effectiveness in terms of “clicks” is like expecting the people sitting in the bleachers of turn three at Daytona to whip out their cell phones and call DuPont every time Jeff Gordon drives past….

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Tab Clearing…

by Tam May 7, 2012 View from the Porch

Everybody wants to save Bengal tigers and pandas and nobody wants to save the anopheles mosquito or the shortheaded hagfish.JayG has photos from blogmeet.The real life of Julia.

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Primary sources…

by Tam May 7, 2012 View from the Porch

If you are a Hoosier going to vote in tomorrow’s primaries, Roomie has a link to a place where you can find out who will be on your ballot.While everybody is yammering about who gets the White House, the smart voter will be looking at elections that actually matter to them, and that they have [...]

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No nukes.

by Tam May 7, 2012 View from the Porch

So the Japanese powered down the last reactor in their country, and the whole grid is humming along without a single volt originated by splitting a uranium atom.Environmentalists are probably decorating their cupcakes over this; a major economy forswearing that icky nuclear energy and moving forward into a greener future of unicorns farting luminescent rainbows [...]

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Was there ever a recorded hula hoop death?

by Tam May 7, 2012 View from the Porch

Fads come and go, especially with kids. I’m pretty sure however, neither pogs, parachute pants, the Material Girl look, nor friendship bracelets contained the inherent danger of leaving the participant a greasy red smear on the sidewalk.I’m sure that after a few kids crater in, the fad will fizzle and they’ll be on to something [...]

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___________s Suck!

by Tam May 7, 2012 View from the Porch

Apparently, the thing to do these days, especially if you’re a bald shooting instructor with a Brand Name®©™ and a goatee, is to release a YouTube video declaring that _______s Suck!By using “sucks” in the title, everyone will know that you’re hip and edgy. You’ll increase attention to your Brand Name®©™ as hundreds of owners [...]

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Output, Lack Of, Excuse For, 1 each.

by Tam May 6, 2012 View from the Porch

I feel like a zom… wait, don’t shoot! Tired! I mean I feel tired!By the time I arrived back at home-away-from-home, it was crowding midnight, and by the time I finally got to bed, it was nearest thing to one AM. And the morning started at 5:00, taking care of the dogs and the baby [...]

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Pro Tip:

by Tam May 6, 2012 View from the Porch

If you go out to a sports bar with a bunch of friends on Cinco de Mayo (which, as our esteemed president can tell you, is the day after Cinco de Quatro,) and already feel the beginnings of a sore throat coming on, you’re going to want to chain-swallow some kind of lemon & honey [...]

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Sunday Morning Stuff…

by Tam May 6, 2012 View from the Porch

Drove down to Jillian’s in Manchestah last night for the totally awesome Northeast Blogger Dinner Thingie, organized by the inimitable Jay G.You know how you meet some people in real life after knowing them on the internet and they’re not like you expected? Well, Jay’s not like that; turns out he’s just like he is [...]

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Luftverboten…

by Tam May 5, 2012 View from the Porch

A list of things normally carried in my pockets and purse that went into checked baggage:CRKT M16SF pocket knife from my jeans pocket and my keychain with steel-cored paracord monkey fist and Simonich Bitter Root from my coat pocket.And from the turse, a Victorinox SAK, CRKT Eat N Tool and Get-A-Way Driver, Leatherman Juice CS4 [...]

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"If you blink, you’ll die in the dark."

by Tam May 5, 2012 View from the Porch

Bob Vogel absolutely smokes the P-T.com FAST Test:That is almost exactly one third of the time it took me to do my best run yet at an AFHF class.Watching these really fast guys, the thing that always impresses me is their incredible economy of motion; there’s not a bit of extraneous herky-jerky to their movements.

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QotD: Lifeless Man Edition

by Tam May 5, 2012 View from the Porch

Caleb, writing on knives:Aside from my Crackberry, my knife is the most useful thing I carry with me on a daily basis. When I have to fly and can’t carry a knife, I feel like half a man. There’s nothing more annoying that sitting on a plane trying to open one of those little deli-airplane [...]

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Slow start…

by Tam May 5, 2012 View from the Porch

Can’t brain yet this morning. Have the dumbs. Possibly because I was up ’til midnight playing this great new game I discovered. I don’t know if y’all have heard of it; it’s called World of Warcraft.Thanks a lot, Marko; you’re a real pal. If I ever get a heroin habit or something, I’ll be sure [...]

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Speaking of accents…

by Tam May 4, 2012 View from the Porch

A friend back in Knoxville used to love to relate the tale of the time his car’s transmission went out. As he was trudging along the road, he was given a ride by an obviously well-to-do older woman in a nice car.They’re driving into town and she asks him what happened to his car, and [...]

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You’re putting the emPHASis on the wrong sylLABles.

by Tam May 4, 2012 View from the Porch

I lived in Chicago ’til I was nine, before moving to Atlanta. I spent the bulk of my life there before migrating to Knoxville, and thence up to Indy. Therefore, I have limited experience with accents.Obviously, there is a distinct Chicagoan accent, and then there are the various shades of Southern accent, with which I [...]

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Off the Shelf…

by Tam May 3, 2012 View from the Porch

Knocking out some vacation reading…The first in the queue was Carpe Jugulum, which I knew I would enjoy, being a Discworld book starring the Witches of Lancre. It was a particularly poignant read, however, as it was the last Discworld novel I had left unread. I’d been saving it and finally decided not to put [...]

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Alert the Ministry of Irony.

by Tam May 3, 2012 View from the Porch

A couple days ago, Stephen King cranked off another one of those “Tax me more!” diatribes that squizillionaires are turning out these days, apparently in hopes of not being confused with those other evil rich guys so please keep reading my books/listening to my songs/going to my movies/buying my stuff America. These get on my [...]

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Phrasing!

by Tam May 3, 2012 View from the Porch

The link at CNN said simply “Obama vows to ‘finish the job’”.With visions of the U.S. economy hemorrhaging gouts of blood as it crawls grimly forward on its hands and knees and Barry stepping up behind it, rolling up his shirtsleeve as he contemplatively hefts a framing hammer, I clicked the link.Turns out it was [...]

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More-or-Less-Instant Karma

by Tam May 2, 2012 View from the Porch

So, apparently there was this cat running loose, stinking up the streets of North Carolina. Despite a felony rap sheet full of crimes like kidnapping and multiple counts of the especially-icky-sounding “Indecent Liberty With A Child”, the penal system had given him nothing worse than some probation and a whole three month stretch in the [...]

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Okay, they finally did it.

by Tam May 2, 2012 View from the Porch

As most folks know, I am generally into older, collectable guns; I like my guns to have a bit of history to them. I used to have all kinds of scary black rifles and all different manner of funky newer pistols and revolvers, but I’ve jettisoned them all over time except for a handful.The few [...]

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Tab Clearing…

by Tam May 2, 2012 View from the Porch

Fred goes outside to fetch a pail of air.A classic sporterized Springfield. There’s a big difference between a clean vintage sporter and a bubba hacksaw job. (The apex predator of the sporterized warhorse environment being, of course, Griffin & Howe.)If there’s a less American concept than “Loyalty Day”, I can’t think of what it might [...]

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See Don. See Don Make $#!+ Up. Don’t Be A Don.

by Tam May 2, 2012 View from the Porch

Just like back in Knoxville, discharging a firearm (except at a range or to bust a cap in a bad guy) is prohibited in the city limits of Indianapolis, but there’s no ordinance against ordnance out in the county, which is weird, because Indy and Marion County supposedly fused into this “Unigov” thing years ago…Anyway, [...]

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New business venture!

by Tam May 2, 2012 View from the Porch

Attention New Hampshwegians, or whatever y’all’s proper demonym is: Announcing Professor Tamara’s Weather Control Service!If ever you are suffering from a withering drouth or a blistering heat wave, just call 1-800-BRR-YUCK and arrange for Prof Tam (Doctorate Of Climate Control Voodoo from Draw Tippy Turtle U.) to fly to your fair state on trash day [...]

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They finally got their fangs into their bête noire.

by Tam May 1, 2012 View from the Porch

The headline story, as well as the BREAKING NEWS banner across the top of the page at CNN.com this morning read:Rupert Murdoch not fit to run business, UK lawmakers ruleI hope CNN’s web guy had some Kleenex at his desk to use after he finished typing that in. I wonder how you pronounce “Mouch” in [...]

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I’ve got bad news, Ambassador van Winkle…

by Tam May 1, 2012 View from the Porch

Wow, how did I miss this column?A little over a week and a half ago, apparently, some cat by the name of Dan Simpson launched another one of those ban-all-the-guns screeds that are so poignant and quaint because they’re so out of touch with on-the-ground political realities. He goes on with the usual blatherskite and [...]

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Tab Clearing…

by Tam April 30, 2012 View from the Porch

“Worse Than SOPA” passes the House on a party-line vote, with the “Small Government GOP” backing the legislation that is opposed by a pretty broad spectrum of people. Barry O is making veto noises, which is more than his predecessor would have done. And I can’t believe I just typed that last sentence.So Iran is [...]

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QotD: Gentlemen’s Blood Edition

by Tam April 30, 2012 View from the Porch

From Roger, The Real King Of France:I will argue that this toxic atmosphere was far better than the “comity” we now suffer. No law passed without a fight is far preferable to the nanny state. If the Bladensburg dueling grounds were still active, a whole generation would today have no clue about the names Pat Leahy, [...]

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Oceania still at war with Eastasia.

by Tam April 30, 2012 View from the Porch

Despite the end of the “War on Terror”, I still have friends in Afghanistan, I still got Porn-O-Scanned at the airport, and little kids still get scared by the monsters in Scooby Doo reruns.Leon Panetta (who, in some kind of bizarre game of political checkers, inexplicably wound up as my Secretary of Defense,) came out [...]

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Eyes without a face.

by Tam April 30, 2012 View from the Porch

Those Guy Fawkes masks are so last decade. The new hotness? Dazzle camouflage for your mug. Called CV Dazzle (short for “computer vision dazzle;” more on the name later), Harvey’s project is a provocative and largely theoretical response to the rise of surveillance cameras on street corners and face-detecting technology that’s been incorporated into social [...]

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I’m mysteriously going to start talking like this.

by Tam April 29, 2012 View from the Porch

A massive European satellite the size of a school bus that has mysteriously stopped communicating with Earth has been spotted by another satellite in orbit.”Mysteriously stopped communicating with Earth”? Oh, you mean it broke. I’ll note that the satellite was from the ESA, so the first thing I’d do is check the list of subcontractors [...]

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You want the cute? You can’t handle the cute!

by Tam April 29, 2012 View from the Porch

Puppies generally tend towards cuteness, but Marko wasn’t kidding when he said that Henry was pretty cute even for a puppy.There’s a step up to the hallway at the back of the house that is dachsie territory, and said step has about a ten-inch riser, which is to say ‘over a dachshund’s head.’ Guinevere, Henry’s [...]

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usa.gov: Childhood illusions crushed while you wait!

by Tam April 28, 2012 View from the Porch

Unc is engaged in the process of home wine-making, strictly for domestic consumption and which will in no way ever enter the stream of interstate commerce, except in a vague Filburn-ish sense. His daughter notes that he could make money, were he to sell some of it. He tells her that the .gov has declared [...]

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